It sucks right, doesn't it?

Haha don't worry my mummy has gotten a Myanmar maid, who will be coming soon I guess.

Then again, this ordeal just struck me in the heart. I think I have taken you for granted too.. Your unconditional love, consistent encouragements, never fail to be there for me whenever I need it so much... I felt really bad for hurling harsh and hurting words at you just months ago.. To me, relationship was never really an option cause I just refuse to commit any emotions anymore in my final most crucial year. You know how stubborn I am. I felt really remorseful, now, for pushing you away from me whenever you came closer to me. I felt suffocated, as if you're smoldering my freedom. I thought if you truly love me, you should wait till at least I've completed my studies before proposing to me, provided that we remained ceteris paribus at where we left off. But right now, things could change for the better. I think I can try to commit again, and be your little girl like before, I think. I'm really not sure if it can work out... but then again we'll never know unless we try right? Which boy will starve himself in school, restricting himself to a $2 chicken rice meal everyday just to save up his meager pocket money for our dates, who will be there for you whenever you felt down, who knows you so well that when you told him "leave me alone, I'll be fine" he knows that it'll translates to "I need you here with me, but I'm just afraid and embarrassed to tell you", who is the only one who took me in during bad times, who would keep to his promises and fulfill them all, who loves you with his heart, soul and body so much so you can't help but to reciprocate that feeling, who rushed down to town without hvaing any breakfast, combed wisma and finally paragon's din tai fung just to get my favorite thousand layer cakes for me when I was ill, when I told him to go eat his breakfast at Macs since his tummy was growling furiously. Opposites do attract, even our families values are so different. My mum loves to splurge, while yours is thrifty and spend only sparingly. My mum can't really substantiate any conversation for more than 10 mins with me and yet your mum is great at handling human relations.. I would never forget those words she said to me on the first night I escaped to your place. I remembered you were still in camp, busy with army stuff and yet you arranged a place for me to stay out.

Just very relieved to have you to be my pillar of support. I wouldn't have made it through those thick times without you... really.. 4 years ... it's long enough for grown up couples to get engaged and married... you were my first love, i gave you my first kiss, just like how you gave me your firsts too... I'm not afraid to let the world know, cause there's nothing to be ashamed of anyway.. No matter what happens in the future, even if we can't be lovers, I just want you to know that you'll always occupy the special spot in my heart and I'll be happy when you are.

I love you. Words don't yield the power to capsulate my feelings for you, but I'll TRY my very best through actions that I'll be there for you too.. (:

I'll try....

And we'll see how things go alright!

Just no more quarrels, no more telling me what to dos, I'm freaking 18 this year alrdy...